Visit to donor family

Roma and I just got back from visiting Roma's sperm donor Wil and his wife and kids in the country. I must say the DVD player in the car worked a treat and Roma remained calm and happy throughout most of the four hour drive each way. Bizarre that she can watch the same few episodes of Dora the Explorer over and over again without batting an eyelid.

Once we arrived Roma was timid as usual, it always takes her a few hours or even days, to warm up and be comfortable enough to leave my hip. This time it was much quicker and within two hours she was wandering around the living area babbling to anyone that would listen. Wil and Megan took us around their farm so Roma could see all the new animals that had recently been born; chickens, guinea pigs, calves pigs, dogs, cats, ducks and sheep. Roma quickly took to appreciating the animals and after that we could not get her away from them! Each morning she would wake at 6am and with a series of cries, grunts and moans she would point towards the front door and demand to be taken on many scenic walks around the farm so she could spot all the animals again. 'Moo' frequently escaped her lips, as did 'baby' and Wil's children's names which was delightful. Before long she started saying 'Ee i, Ee i, oh' like the Old McDonald Had a Farm nursery rhyme; she had made the connection between the rhyme and the farm we were on which was amazing.

On one of the days some of Wil's extended family came to visit and meet Roma for the first time. They all adored her as much as we do and I got along well with them. Wil's brother was especially chatty which I was grateful for. I thought they might feel awkward and not know what to say but that wasn't the case at all, they all wanted to get to know me and asked questions about what I did for a living and our life in brisbane. A few of them had read my book which gave them most of the details about Roma's conception which was a bit strange; to realise that these people I hardly know anything about, know a hell of a lot about me.

Wil has a large family, four older brothers with their wives and mostly adult children. Its a lot to take in, and I am still battling to remember all their names. I have spoken to a few of them on the phone and have always been amazed at how interested they are in knowing me and how comfortable they are with Roma and I being in their lives. When I chose to use a known donor to conceive I never ever thought about extended family being involved. It was a complete surprise to me that Wil's family wanted to meet me at all. But they do, and they want to know Roma and I and I think it is wonderful for Roma. Before everyone left they took a group family photo, with Roma and I included. They treat her as part of their family, and that is precious; something I never anticipated.

The day before we left I left Roma with Wil and his family for the afternoon so they could have some quality time together while I climbed up a hill, spread a picnic blanket under a cactus and read a few books whilst chilling out. I hoped Wil's kids (who are quite shy) would open up a bit and interract with Roma if I wasn't there, plus it is hard for them to hold her whilst I am there because Roma frequently wants to be held by me only. If I am not there she is happy to be held by others. At one stage she started saying 'muma muma' so Wil asked her 'Where's muma?' and she said 'Toilet.' Ahh so cute, the only reason I am generally away from her is because I need to go to the toilet, so she must have assumed that was the case. That gives you an idea of how much time we do spend together :). She is such an adorable and bright little button. She picked up quite a few new words while we were away, toilet being one of them. She is attempting alot more words too.

When we got home there was an email waiting for me stating that Roma's resigning family day carer will not be replaced as promised so we now need to find alternative care by October 12. That certainly put a dampner on the day and I spent the afternoon on the phone to various agencies looking for childcare. More change for Roma. I do value stability and want her to have as much as possible but some things are out of my control it seems. On the upside I have since arranged to meet up with two other carers next week, so hopefully one of them will be brilliant enough for my gorgeous girl Roma.