Fear and vulnerabilities

My sister was cleaning out her bookcase the other day, trying to cull books and so I took a few home to read; one was called 'Let Me Survive' by Louise Longo. It was the true story of a woman who was the sole surviver of an incident at sea which claimed the life of her husband and six year old daughter.
I read it twice.
I couldn't get it out of my head because I could feel this womans pain and I felt so so sorry that she, that anyone, that potentially I, could endure such pain as the loss of a child. Now that I have Roma and I love her so much, I am in a very vulnerable position. If she dies, I will be in immense pain.
Problem.

I thought I had already gone through this. Is there an afterlife? Does our spirit live on after death? I was not bought up with religion, so when these questions came to me as an adolescent and young adult I looked into it and it intrigued me so much that I grew quite a passion for it. I read alot about near death experiences and it didn't take me long to make up my mind that yes, I do believe in life after death, in a God of some kind and I believe when we die our spirit lives on, in a happy plane of existence somewhere. I therefore decided I was comfortable with death. That was until now, until I stood to lose so much.

So now that my fear of death has resurfaced, I went to the library to browse for inspiration and came across a book titled 'Afterlife Encounters' by Dianne Arcangel which is a scientifically based account of many peoples interactions with loved ones that have passed away. It gave me immense hope, and reminded me of my beliefs. Beliefs that I am grateful for. I hope the Universe hasn't sent me on this quest to prepare me for something, I hope I never have to put my beliefs to the test, but if I do, I now think it will be possible for me to survive the experience, and that slightly reduces the fear and anxiety I feel; which can only be a good thing.