I'm In Love!

I am so in love with Roma!
I have that addicted feeling like I had in the past with partners, I just want to kiss her all the time and not stop kissing her. I can't stand to be away from her for too long, I take so many photos and I'm just so amazed and proud of her every day.

I love looking at her, I love that I can look at her and she looks at me and doesn't turn away. She hasn't learnt the social etiquette that dictates we shouldn't look at one another for too long; so she allows me to look at her, in the eye for a long time and she smiles. I think that's why we love looking at our partners when they sleep, cause when they are asleep we don't have to take our eyes off them, we are allowed to gaze.

I love gazing, I could gaze all day at her beautiful face. And her voice, oh she has the sweetest little voice. She babbles this baby language that only she understands and she sings in that language too, the sweetest sound I have ever heard. I want to capture it and hear it every day for the rest of my life. She is 19 months old now and when I have her on my hip she has just started doing this thing where she lightly holds my face with both her hands and turns me to face her and then she just looks at me and smiles. It is oh so cute, so tender and so lovely.

This love, makes me feel so vulnerable. I know that the stronger and more wonderful it is, the stronger the pain will be when/if she is taken away. I dread that she be taken away but I know one day she wont be as physically close to me. She could move to Europe when she is 18, have an argument with me when she is 15 and decide not to talk to me for ages, or heaven forbid she could pass away before I do.  It could happen and it would break my heart into so many pieces it would never repair. I know I will need to let her go once she's older, and I will; but right now I'm holding on tight and devouring this little girl and everything she brings into my life.