Blessed Are We

Last week I was reminded how lucky I am. Lucky to be a mother, to be a single mother and to be an Australian. I was talking to a woman at work who is from India and she was telling me how she would be reunited with her daughter soon (she is only one year older than Roma).

Almost a year ago it was decided that the little toddler should go and live with her grandparents in India because my colleague needed to return to full-time work and her husband and his parents did not think she should be in a childcare centre five days per week, she would be better off with her grandparents in India. Sounds good in theory but this meant her mother would not see her for a year. Before our conversation last week I knew that her daughter was in India but I assumed it was what she wanted, part of her culture, the way they do things over there etcetera, but then I found out that it was not what she wanted. She had protested and fought to keep her daughter here with her, but, 'As an Indian woman, it was not up to me,' as she put it. How completely devastating!
So then she grieved, and ached, missing her daughter's body beside her in bed each night for a full year before she could be reunited.

So many questions went through my mind, what if her daughter doesnt remember her? what will happen to their bond? their attachment? will she ever regain that special place in her daughters heart again? And then I got angry. How dare her husband make such a decision without her approval. How dare her in-laws have such control over her child and her relationship with her child. I thought they should all be thrown in jail for kidnapping. And then I felt grateful. Grateful that I have complete control to make all the decisions with Roma, I don't have anyone trying to take her away from me, she stays with me almost all of the time and i wouldnt have it any other way. But some people are not so fortunate, and it breaks my heart. As a mother I can imagine the pain they must feel every day and it breaks my heart.